


A Wilted Love

by EmiliyaWolfe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hogwarts, Love, QLFC, Romance, Sad, School, Severus - Freeform, emiliya, lily - Freeform, wilted, wolfe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 19:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11630082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmiliyaWolfe/pseuds/EmiliyaWolfe
Summary: What if Lily and Severus's friendship had blossomed into something more? A single word can ruin a budding relationship. A single person can have the impact of a lifetime.





	A Wilted Love

Severus Snape was looking forward to finally attending Hogwarts. He would have jumped at any chance to get away from that awful village, but to go to an enchanted castle, to learn magic, _finally!_ And with his only friend by his side to top it.

He glanced nervously at Lily as they entered the compartment full of other first years. They hadn’t gone to school together, hadn’t even spoken to each other before he found out she was a witch. What if she made other friends? What if she only talked to him because he was the only other wizard in Cokeworth?

His worst fears seemed to come true as one of the kids butted in on their conversation about the Sorting.

‘Who would want to be in Slytherin?’ Potter, Severus remembered now, said with a look of disgust. ‘I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?’

Severus didn’t listen to the other boy’s answer, instead drinking in Potter’s appearance. He had the fleshed out, rosy cheeks of someone who didn’t have to worry whether there would be enough food on the table, the brand new robes of a boy whose parents wanted him to start with every advantage when he went to school.

Severus looked down at his own hand-me-down robes, his scuffed shoes, his too-long hair. Lily would definitely pick them over him, no matter what he wished.

‘Come on Severus,’ Lily said angrily, flashing those green eyes of her at the other two boys. ‘Let’s find another compartment.’

Severus blinked in amazement, a small smile creeping over his face when she pulled him by the hand, not even caring that Potter tried to trip him up.

***

 

‘Severus,’ Lily said slowly, ponderously, as was her habit when she brought up a difficult topic of conversation. ‘What’s a Mudblood?’

They were sitting under the great oak tree by the Black Lake, studying for the end of year Potions exam; though they both knew they would get an O anyway.

In actual fact, it was an excuse to spend time together. Lily soon found out about the ridiculous rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin, quickly putting a stop to any notions Severus had about their friendship ending over something so trivial.

 _Friendship, Lily?_ A snide voice asked in her mind. _Are you sure?_

Lily blushed at the thought, sneaking a peak at Severus, who seemed to have gone mute. Of course, he wasn’t the most handsome of boys, what with his greasy hair and abnormally large nose, but there was something appealing about him all the same.

Maybe it was the way his dark eyes would light up when talking about spell theory, maybe it was the fact that he was absolutely brilliant at Potions, or his hilarious wit.

‘It’s not a very nice word Lils,’ Severus replied eventually. ‘It’s a bad word for people who have Muggles for parents. Usually it’s used by purebloods to show that they’re better than the rest of us,’ he added venomously.

Lily wondered if he had ever been subject to humiliation from within his own House, the famously elitist Slytherins.

‘And... are they?’ she asked, barely above a whisper. Maybe it was the fact that she could share her innermost thoughts with Severus and trust him with them.

‘Not at all,’ he said immediately. ‘Look at you, you’re a Muggleborn and you’re the cleverest witch in our year. Don’t use that word, Lily.’

Or maybe it was the fact that, deep down, Severus had the most caring heart she knew.

***

 

‘Hey Severus!’ Lily said brightly, plopping down at the Slytherin table without a care in the world.

Severus couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. It had barely been a week since the summer holidays, but he had missed her already.

‘Congratulations on making Prefect,’ he noted, nodding towards her shiny new badge.

‘You already knew about that,’ Lily laughed, swatting him on the arm.

Alecto Carrow looked at her fellow redhead in disgust, whilst Rabastan Lestrange gave Severus a warning look. But Severus didn’t care. He could spin his friendship with Lily any way he wanted in the changing room, and he wouldn’t give her up for the world.

‘I know,’ he allowed. ‘But I hadn’t seen the badge yet.’

He glanced along the table at the glares. Although Lily never gave any sign that she noticed, he knew from experience that they could be unpleasant.

‘I’m just about done,’ he said, motioning towards his breakfast. ‘Shall we go?’

‘We shall,’ Lily announced, slinging her arm through his and marching through the Great Hall as though they were Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Their idyllic stroll through empty corridors on the way to Charms class was interrupted half way there by the sound of raucous laughter.

Severus froze, feeling the first beads of sweat form at the base of his neck. He knew that laughter. He knew it all too well. He dreaded it.

Fortunately, Lily knew just what to do.

‘Quickly, in here!’ she said, ushering him towards a portrait.

Her fingers scrabbled at the bottom to find the catch. Just as the secret room swung open, the voices sounded from around the corner. The two fifth years scrambled into the small opening, the portrait swinging shut behind them just as two tufts of black hair came into view.

‘That was close,’ Severus sighed, but Lily immediately put her hand over his mouth, motioning him to be quiet.

She fumbled for her wand for a second, before twisting towards the back wall and writing in glowing letters: "They know about the secret."

Severus nodded as the words faded from view, trying to still his breathing. He looked around for a distraction, but the room - if one could even call it that - was tiny. There was barely enough room for the both of them to sit comfortably, and even then he had to stoop a little. There was some leeway to the side, so he shifted, trying to make it so that he didn’t have to duck his head.

‘Did you hear something?’ Sirius Black asked.

Through the peepholes slit in the top of the portrait, Severus could just make out the tall boy swivelling his head from side to side.

‘No, now shut up and help me with this prank,’ James Potter’s voice sounded exasperatedly. ‘We don’t have much time, and if I get any more detentions I’ll be chucked off the Quidditch team.’

Severus looked over towards Lily, who was rolling her eyes in disdain. Suddenly, he became painfully aware of her knee brushing against his leg, of her body pressed against his arm, of her face so close to his own that he could count every freckle on her nose.

He glanced up to her vivid green eyes, only to find them trained on his own. Unconsciously, he licked his lips, finding that his mouth had become unusually dry. Lily’s eyes flickered down to follow the movement, only to find their way slowly back to his own.

Severus’s hand trembled slightly as it moved of its own accord to place a lock of long hair back over Lily’s shoulder, lingering more than strictly necessary on her skin.

 _No_ , the last cognisant piece of his mind said. _What are you doing? She doesn’t love you like you love her. You’re ruining everything! Stop it!_

But his body seemed to take a life of its own, shifting closer and closer to Lily until he could see the flecks of gold within the green, then closing his eyes to everything, then feeling the slight jolt of adrenaline as his lips touched something much softer than he had ever imagined.

His mouth curved into a smile. He, Severus Snape, was kissing Lily Evans.

***

 

‘I can’t believe I kissed him,’ Lily said, hugging her pillow to her chest at the memory.

The evening of the kiss, she and Marlene had found themselves alone in the dormitory for once, the other girls having stayed in the Common Room to play some Exploding Snap with the Marauders. They had taken the opportunity to catch up on each others’ love lives, and the confession had just slipped out.

Lily didn’t bother hiding her beaming smile.

‘Wow!’ Marlene said, coming over to sit on Lily’s bed. ‘I didn’t even know you realised you liked him like that. But you know,’ she smirked. ‘I did always say that you and James make the perfect couple.’

‘James?’ the smile slid from Lily’s face. ‘I was talking about Sev.’

‘What?’ Marlene exclaimed, her head thrown back in surprise. ‘Lily, why him? Why him when you have so many others practically drooling at your feet?’

‘Why him?’ Lily asked heatedly, throwing away her pillow. ‘Maybe because he has half a brain. Maybe because he was friends with me before he found out how good I was at Potions. Maybe because James Potter is an arrogant toerag, and Severus has the kindest heart in the world!’

‘Lily,’ Marlene started, her voice filled with empathy and yet patronising. ‘Maybe Snape was that way when you were young, but you’ve got to open your eyes! He’s deep within the Dark Arts. He’s evil! I can’t stand to let you love someone who can be so cruel. Only last week...’

‘Then don’t stand it!’ Lily shot back passionately. ‘Of all the people, I thought you, Marlene, were the least prejudiced! You’re the one who convinced everyone to see Sirius past the Black name, and yet you condemn Severus because of his House. I’m not going to listen to another word.’

And with that, she flounced out of the dormitory and out of the Common Room, not even caring that she was still in her pyjamas.

***

 

‘I can’t believe they won’t give you a chance,’ Lily fumed.

It was their second Hogsmeade date, and the other Gryffindors had continued to make themselves scarce when they saw the couple. Severus was actually quite pleased to have Lily to himself. Besides, it was easier that way.

‘Maybe we should keep this a secret,’ Severus voiced his thoughts.

‘What?’ Lily asked, disoriented from the interruption in her rant.

‘Us,’ he said, holding up their intertwined hands. ‘Maybe we should keep our relationship a secret. Only for a little while.’

‘Until when?’ Lily asked. ‘No, they have to accept this. If it makes them uncomfortable, well that’s just something they’re going to have to deal with.’

Part of Severus was disappointed, that he would continue to have to make excuses for their relationship, such as Lily’s intellect or…more unsavoury reasons, ones that he would be horrified about if Lily found out, but at least that was better than being refused a position in the Death Eaters.

He was excited just at the thought of it. Imagine the power, imagine the possibilities! He knew that he could bring Lily around to the idea when he told her about Voldemort’s experiments with the Draught of Living Death. Imagine a potion that could bring someone back to life!

But deep inside, he knew that Lily would never agree to that. She was too principled, too compassionate and too good. And that was the reason he loved her.

‘I love you,’ he said aloud.

Lily didn’t hear. She had already let go of his hand to examine the medicinal   properties of a roadside weed.

***

 

‘...filthy little Mudbloods like her!’

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Lily’s heart dropped like a stone. " _Mudbloods_ ". Not even " _Mudblood_ ". She was just part of a category of lesser beings to him, nothing more than the dirt he walked on.

‘Fine,’ she said dully. ‘I won’t bother in the future.’

***

 

The memories flashed through Severus’s mind as the blood rushed out of his veins. _Almost fitting_ , he thought wryly, _that I feel so much peace as Death approaches_.

He closed his eyes, imagining a new scenario, one in which he had the strength of character to stand up to his fellow Slytherins, the strength of will to stand up to James Potter, and the strength of conviction to stand up to Voldemort when the final moment came.

He imagined that James Potter had died, leaving him to take his place and help Lily take care of the child, but spending so many years in the presence of Dumbledore had him feeling a twinge of regret. So instead, he imagined that he stepped away from the Dark Arts for Lily, no, better yet, that he never ventured there in the first place and became a renowned wizard for his spell inventions. Miranda Goshawk came begging to introduce them into her Standard Book of Spells, James Potter looked on with envy, and Lily... Lily would be Lily Snape, his beautiful, smart, _good_ wife.

Footsteps sounded, but he was too far gone to realise where they came from. Suddenly, a face appeared, a face with _her_ eyes, and through the haze that descended over his vision he was able to imagine _his_ black hair, not Potter’s.

A new image replaced the old ones, and he imagined Harry in his sixth year, the one in which he became so good at potions, only in this fantasy it was Severus who had taught him all he knew, and he was writing a letter home to Lily about how far their son had come.

 _Dearest Lily,_ it would start, but his mind was too sluggish to think of the rest.

_Dearest Lily._


End file.
